“satire you can trust”

HONG KONG — Speaking from her HKD$200 million home overlooking Deep Water Bay, amateur food critic and youth socialist party member Sophia, told TMG correspondents she was overjoyed to find her Michelin food review page @PlumpMICHELINEats had reached 500 followers.

Before TMG correspondents had rudely trespassed on her sanctuary, Sophia was in the midst of reflection over Charles Dickens’s 1854 novel Hard Times, to which she comments “has a cool protagonist.” When asked to show the process behind her posts, Sophia kindly insisted on treating us to a 3-star Michelin restaurant, La Cibo Gustoso, located on the 87th floor of the IFC, and the next victim of her page. Sat at the dinner table, TMG correspondents could hardly notice the status of our fellow patrons, which as Sophia nonchalantly states are “regulars and friends of my father” – her father being the renowned anti-unionist and manufacturing kingpin George Lam. During the 5-course meal, Sophia told TMG reporters she was an active member of the Hong Kong Socialist Party (HKSP), boasting the title of Youth Treasurer. Delving deeper, she told us of her endeavors to raise awareness for the benefits of socialism, which involved daily anti-capitalist infographics on her private account. When asked about her motives, Sophia stated a formative influence was her experiences as a child, explicitly remembering “this one time I was five and had a painful headache, but was forced to wait at the hospital for five minutes.” To which she followed up by voicing her visions of “free and timely health-care for all!”

Five sparsely populated plates later and an HKD$10000 dollar bill, TMG correspondents were left intellectually, financially and physically famished, which warranted a stop at McDonalds. However, it was finally time for Sophia to make her post, which she explained involved 3 crucial steps; Firstly, curating a gallery of food photos to post. Secondly, judging the meal on four criterias – Taste, Service, Presentation and Affordability – which we are assured La Cibo Gustoso was elated at the full score she gave them. And lastly, a decently long paragraph on the overall experience. “Fini!” she exclaimed at the end of it.

After an incredibly insightful night, TMG correspondents thanked Sophia for the experience, and wished her the best of luck on her future endeavors; be it food critiques or funding a proletariat revolt.