“satire you can trust”

CHEYENNE, WY — In response to the massive public outcry over police brutality, law enforcement agencies are winning back the hearts and minds of the nation through public outreach campaigns.

An alliance of police chiefs from 300 cities named “The Silent Majority” posted recruitment ads on TikTok in a bid to win over support from Gen Y and Z’s around the nation. One of the ads saw a white, middle-aged police chief from Cheyenne, Wyoming swinging his arms to Doja Cat’s hit song “Say So.” As the officer wrapped up the choreography with an emphatic body twirl, bold red captions appeared on screen, calling for “multimedia editors” to “help combat liberal disinformation and systematic discrimination against cops around the nation.” 

As conservative political commentators rushed to applaud the police for their recruitment efforts, multiple police chiefs from “The Silent Majority” were simultaneously invited as guests on conservative podcasts and talk shows. The same officer from Cheyenne who was last seen dancing on TikTok 5 hours ago appeared on the latest episode of Fox and Friends, describing the force’s outreach campaign as “heartfelt and personal,” stating that “giving back to the community” has always been their “top priority.”

“We’re trying our absolute hardest to change the narrative and regain trust in our communities. To all photo and video editors out there, we need you!”

At press time, The Morning Glory has received multiple reports of allegedly doctored police body cam footage being released from official police Twitter accounts.